that last post was rocky

so this one will be apollo?

yeah i dunno, but that last post was rough, even for me.

suffices to say, i have a lot on my mind.

today i started looking into fsu (jena not florida). i'm still just testing the waters a bit, dipping my toe into this pdf and that, reading about what is available/required. i've already pretty much decided that my end goal is to come back here to study, but how that will play out is not yet clear.

first, second, and third things first, second, and third, i need to be focusing on learning how this church lives, building this group of young people here, and studying for my test on the 12th. they should really be respective in order of priority, but that whole "this test will somewhat determine the future possibilites" thing creeps its way to the top here and there.

but today is friday, so that means 3 and 2 will be worked on, and 1 over the weekend for sure. i really like hanging out with these kids. i'm just praying that we will all grow together as long as i am here, and then even more that they will grow even after i leave.

.jrs.

at the tone, the time will be. . . OR parenthetical delightful (i can remember the exact moment i first heard/took notice of the word parenthetical)

00.10

(have i used that title already??)

10 past midnight, great time to have some 20 tabs open.

well now it's 00.30. *beep* (you decide if that was the tone or self censorship)

i just spent 20 discussing german/american keyboard differences (i must have been doing something else, too, but i cannot think of what it was). not a bad topic of discussion, but i still have 20 tabs.

and a catalog of music to organize.

so, oh brave soul, why dost thou squander so oft thine dear sought minutes? or better yet why did i just switch to 9th grade old english?

i'll go ahead and answer both questions with one stone (mixing metaphors/sayings/regular phrases is one of my newest hobbies. as of now that is, so actually my newest.), and i'll do it in a question no less (i once read the best questions are answered by questions. i think it was in a book.):

do you remember my greatest fear? (please don't break into my online accounts)

ǝɹnlıɐɟ :ɹǝʍsuɐ (text-flips are dumb, but i'm leaving it. take it or take it. (click it or click it - single most effective seat belt advertisement delivered by me but never taken by any authority to the best of my knowledge (i would suggest not searching "click it or ticket" on youtube; there is a really angry guy, not a helpful advert)))

i think i've gradually stopped managing my time in an effort to delay the facing of a very big decision in my life, namely what i'm going to do with my life. (is it the hour that makes me so open? is it the ambiguity of the medium of internet? why does the english not have a genitive? it would save me time.)

(all these stupid parenthetical asides have stolen my train of thought.)

(hey i think i found out where i pressed the enter key so much *see last parentheses*)



ok, enough then. i'm not sure if i've actually shared anything here. i am sure i have confused myself. now with only 10 minutes (well now 9) remaining in this first hour of the day, i leave you with two questions:

1. do i use punctuation correctly? i wonder that often.
2. what am i waiting for?

goodnight.

.jrs.





(how did i get so much space at the end of this post. i don't remember hitting the enter key. . . i'll blame aliens)

spazieren

not german for spazing out.

is german for taking a stroll.

germans generally walk faster than americans. well, like any stereotype that will depend on who you're walking with. i worked at peir1 in manhattan, ks, for a month or two when the were moving. the managers there (except for the brown haired girl) walked really fast. brent and andrea. fast walkers.

anyways, i was thinking sometime around november that i wanted to adapt this trait to myself, to become a fast walker. i saw all the drawbacks immediately. for the very reasons i have chosen to walk at a slower or at least moderate pace all these years i was hesitant to begin the process. but i through my caution to my new self made wind and began stepping to my new beat.

it was actually nice. at first, my legs were kind of sore. i walk a couple of miles every day here anyways, so doing it extra fast was a bit of task. nothing too serious, i'll admit, but it was something. i got places faster; that was neat.

for a long time, however, i've been thinking it over, but for some reason i was waiting to turn back the dial. and then came tonight.

maybe it was the coffee wearing off (i found a pretty boss coffee shop downtown today. i'll probably go there more often now), mabye it was the music i was listening to, maybe it was the time, i dunno, but tonight after stammtisch i broke my stride.

and it was beautiful.

maybe it's one of those "you don't know what you have til it's gone" type of things. i started walking slowly and everything, seriously everything was better. smells, sights, sounds, feeling the air and the fence posts, everything. it was so beautiful.

i must say, if you want to have a beautiful evening, walk fast for a couple months and then take a nice slow stroll.

spazieren gehen - german word of the day (well, night technically)

.jrs.

i actually have a couple other thoughts on taking walks, but sadly there are no bonus features on this dvd. maybe if you try inserting disc 2. . .