the revelation of jacob

so maybe i'm not on some island, maybe i havenot supped with our Lord, maybe i'm not waking up to see horses and fire and crazy things all around. . .

but i do listen to good music, and i've been thinking of things for a while.

where do i begin?

first of all, i'm really unsure of my readership, that that i do not trust you all, i just don't know who you all are. seriously. does anybody read this other than dustin?
i just had to get that off my chest so i can start.

so what comes to follow are the feelings and ideas i've had concerning the future lately. when i was bringing my high school years to a close, i would have honestly told you i couldn't see myself past 18. all i saw was this nebulous black cloud of future. i thought maybe that meant i was destined to die before my nineteenth year, or at the very least sometime still with youth.

a couple years passed, i added candles to the cake, and i think it was when i was 20. . .1? 21? yeah, that i felt like i had my 18th birthday all over again. three years later and i still had no clue where i was headed. i was deep in the future cloud i had once seen looming on the horizon, and felt left to no end.

i remember the exact situation when i thought i had my second eighteenth birthday, but that's not important right now. suffice it to say, i haven't felt much guidance or direction for the past four or five years.

(funny, i was once told to write down where i wanted to be in five and ten years. i think i actually wrote this down, but i still never really believed it)

so when my eyes began to open over the past few months, i was a bit taken aback. i cannot say i fear anything about the future, but i am still unsure of it. i also would be out of place to say i have firm plans or grand ideas, but i do have ideas that seem wonderful to me.

so please, if you are in fact reading, enjoy what is to come. it might just be some self-fulfilling prophecy.

.jrs.

thanks giving

the other day was great. we put off thanksgiving till friday so we could fit it in better with peoples' schedules here. it's not a holiday, so nobody had off.

i was just looking through that last post from my journal. it's probably a bit confusing without complete explanation, so if you are reading it scratching your head at points, shoot me an email and i'll clear it all up.

but our dinner was great. lots of people filled the house and we ate and ate and ate. six hours after the dinner, i still had a proper belly-ache. that's how you know it was good.

i've got a lot of thinking to do, about life in general, though, so the thankfulness comes almost as an afterthought. this is kindof loaded too, but i'll clear it all up in the next few posts.

.jrs.

ripped straight from the journal

so, what follows is from my journal entry for today. i'm gonna leave it unedited, maybe to give a better feel for everything i was thinking and how i was scratching down my mind, maybe because i don't really want to read through it all again and make it into a project.

anyway, here's my story:

28 November 2008
17-? – Thanksgiving dinner

Well, I woke up a bit late today, but I still got some solid info and am looking forward to a good day. I cleaned the bathroom a bit and got ready for the day, then I helped Karoline make some stuffing. We baked our pies last night—Karoline two pumpkin, I two apple—so we had room this morning for cornbread and this afternoon for the turkey. Everything’s just kind of getting ready now. Karoline is cleaning this or that because Jozeka and Miriam are coming back this weekend, I think with some friends.

Oh but let me catch up a bit. I’ve been missing a couple days here and there, usually trying to fill in the blanks, but now I’m just gonna leave them blank and fill in with a quick recap. Let’s see, the last I wrote was Tuesday, so the last two days then. Wednesday was the opening of the Weihnachtsmarkt downtown, so I met a bunch of people from Stammtisch to try out the glühwein and hang out. It was pretty nice. Glühwein is just mulled wine, nice and warm and tasty to boot.

The next day during our break, Katarina wanted to go through the Markt, so I tagged along for fun. I think she really wanted to buy cigarettes, but I kept her from that maybe. Good thing though. Then we were walking through and I realized the place we avoided because they were selling beer instead of glühwein was from Papiermüle, the local brewery. So, at 10.30 I took down a sweet, smooth Pils with no regret. Katarina made fun of me for drinking so early, but it was good.

Rocco did the book table in the city, but instead of going right there after class, I went with Katarina and Dinny (that’s how your supposed to spell here name I found out) to Burgau which just on the way out of town to see a “Weihnachtsmarkt” there. Bogus. It was just a garden supply store with a few fish and birds too. Laaaame. But we went there anyways, it was fun hanging out. Katarina told us then that she’ll probably be stopping the class we’re all in because it’s not challenging her enough. It’s true, but I enjoy the pace right now. I think I need to do more work though to feel some real growth. Maybe she’ll find a better class and we can all transfer over.

So that brings us pretty much up to today. A day late, a couple dollars plus and minus (I figured out my banking stuff, but still am bleeding some money into transaction fees. Sparkasse said I can open a Girokonto there for free though, so I might jump on that bus) I am thankful for so many things. I’m trying to take pictures to share with everyone, but we’ll see how far that all goes. I’ll probably be able to send them out on Saturday if not this evening.

welp, smell ya later.

.jrs.